Friday, January 14, 2011

Wherein John Scalzi invades my dreams

Alright Scalzi. You’ve had your fun. Time to go heckle someone else. Invading my dreams…those are my dreams! I’ll admit you did pull off that pink tutu pretty well, but I did not ask you to invade my dreams and have tea with me under the great oak that separates the magical fairy land from our own. And NO I did not fall asleep reading Wings again…why would you ask that?

You want to know what really gets my goat? It’s not enough for you to use your mind control powers to force me to stand in line all day at your book signings when no one else showed up (pro tip: maybe it’s cause you are an evil mastermind), but then you took my short story and you, *cry*, you edited it! You EDITED my writing! How uncouth!

I mean who even heard of a ‘boobboarded luddite?’ I sure didn’t, but now that phrase is burned into my brain. I can’t stop thinking about it! I can’t find the word 'boobboarded' in any dictionary, so I’m left to conclude that it must be a word used to torture writers from your home planet.

You may have won this round, Scalzi. But I shall find protection from your dastardly plans. And yes, I know about the Device. Oh yes, I do.

You better watch yourself.

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